At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
