We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
