I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
