Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
