I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
