I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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