Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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