Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
