I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize