nutella sex= disaster
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
