OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We left an ass print on the piano.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize