Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
