well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize