we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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