i just google imaged poop.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize