that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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