he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
