the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
