Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
His nipple licking is glorious
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