there was a trapeze. enough said
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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