"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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