is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
