Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
