Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize