good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
