everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
