remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
