Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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