Is it normal to miss your booty call?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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