The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
