I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
