everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
