I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize