What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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