do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have fence marks all over my body
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize