my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
