Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Less talking, more tequila
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
