i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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