I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
