guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
