They should really pass out barf bags in church
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
