OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
3pm strippers are depressing
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
