i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
