i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
