So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
