Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
