I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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