Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
