Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
