just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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