when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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