Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
