He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
