I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just pynch a tree in the face
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
