I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
