Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
