update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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