my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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