She said her name was "party"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize