New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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