well most of my day revolves around power hour
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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