i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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