Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
