"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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