are you so shy because you have an std?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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