Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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